Legionnaires

There was once 2 French Legionnaires in the desert; they've
been separated from their unit and are lost. They've been
wandering for days without food and water and are nearly
resigned to death by dehydration. When they reach the top of
a sand dune they suddenly see a big bustling market laid out
before them. Naturally, they can't believe their eyes and
think it's a mirage, but as they draw closer they can hear
the stallholder's cries, and they eventually reach the
market and realise they are really there. So the
legionnaires rush up to the first stall they can and cry to
the stallholder "Stallholder, we have been travelling in the
desert for many days and have no food or water. We shall
surely die soon unless you have some you can sell us - tell
us, do you have any sustenance for us?" The stallholder
shook his head and replied "I'm sorry, French Legionnaire
type people, but all I have to sell is bowls full of jelly,
topped with custard and cream, and lovingly sprinkled with
hundreds and thousands." The Legionnaires look at each other
mildly surprised and move on to the next stall, where they
ask the stallholder "Mr purveyor of fine foodstuffs and the
like, we have been travelling through the desert for days,
deprived of the necessary beverages and condiments required
for survival. We shall surely die soon, unless you can sell
us some skins of water." The stallholder looked at them
embarrassed and confessed "Gentleman, tragic as it is to
admit, I have none of the ingredients for life of which you
speak....all I have to sell is this large bowl of jelly
topped with custard and cream and sprinkled with hundreds
and thousands, with a little cherry on a cocktail stick,
there" he said, pointing out the glace cherry on top. "I
cannot help you." The Legionnaires look at each other in
desperation and run on to the next stall, where they
demand of the stallholder "Look mate (because desperation
often causes loss of a sophisticated rounding to ones
conversational style) we need water or we'll die. We've been
travelling for days and need water immediately - do you have
any or what?" The stallholder looked at his curl-ended shoes
in shame as he confessed, "Sorry, fellas, all I have to sell
you is a bowl of jelly, with custard and cream and hundreds
and thousands. I can't help you. You are, I'm afraid,
condemned to a long and lingering death by dehydration." The
Legionnaires were really worried by now, and went through
the market, stall by stall, asking each stallhoder for just
a little water that they knew was their only chance of
survival. But each stallholder gave the same reply - all
they had to sell was jelly with cream and custard and
hundreds and thousands. Dejected and resigned to their grim
fate the Legionnaires left the market and trudged off into
the setting sun. As they did, one turned to the other and
said "That was really odd - a big market in the middle of
nowhere, and all they sold was jelly and custard and cream,
sprinkled with hundreds and thousands." The other turned to
his companion and said "Yes, it was a trifle bazaar".

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